At least acknowledging the confusion means there is actual effort in the situation. That has to be the small token of hope to cling to. If hope is lost all is lost, right? Everyone hopes,dreams, pursues something and there seems to be of that right now. I know who I want to be but not how to get there. I was once there but honestly cannot recall how I got there before. I feel like I’m
desperately lost going somewhere I have been so many times before. That is my confusion.

Sidewalk chalk with Jenna!:) (Taken with instagram)

Time

Who decides how fast time goes by? Why do some days fly by and others drag on, never ending? I want to know how to find a perfect speed, but I don’t know how. I can’t believe how fast my life is going by. I’m less than a year away from being a teenager and yet I don’t feel mature enough to be. Maybe a better sense of purpose would help. Time I’m not ready for you…

Think your own thoughts

Why care so much what other people think? Every single person does, even if they claim they don’t, we all care what others think. It changes the way we act, it changes who are, it changes how we think. I think in a way it strips us of some of the real jewels we have hidden away, because instead of working on uncovering theses amazing unique qualities in ourselves we are busy covering them up trying to be like everyone else.  What is our goal here? To all be the same? The day that happens, there will be nothing left. It will be a shallow wasteland and I hope I don’t live to see thats day. As corny as this may sound, be who you were born to be, let your thoughts wonder and shift and form into magnificent creations and dont let them stop…. ever. 

Purpose.

What if what we want to be isn’t what we are supposed to be? What if we all have this greater purpose? I wonder if I would be willing to drop all mt hopes and dreams and follow it. I feel like I am in this blessed place of comfort and I really would like to stay put, but what if there is something greater out there for me? But then, what is I did get up and move and the place I went was worse way worse then the place I am now, a place that ruines what I have planned for my future, what then? So then what? I come to the conclusion of sticking with all my current ambitions? What if I had done that form the start and I still have the dreams of a six year old… oh wait then I would be in the exact same spot I am now, hmmm maybe it is just meant to be….  

When I see those people who genuinely love exercising/eating healthy

whatshouldwecallme:

Them:

Me:

Everywhere I go, you go

How come before we met I NEVER saw you anywhere and now everywhere I am, you seem to be there too! The logical reasoning is I did not know you, therefore did not notice you, but I feel like I would have noticed you even though we hadn’t met… I just feel like rambling on about this but I need to let go and move on. It is my fault for looking back and turning around walking a few steps backwards, I should have listened to my brain not my heart. We all make mistakes, but does it count as a mistake if you knew the whole time it was just going to hurt you in the end? 

YOLO

Ya only live once right? Then why do I live so foolishly sometimes? Everyone says it, they say it all the time, yet apparently it has not be pounded into my head hard enough because I am wasting my time. I straight up know it! I know I wouldn’t be happy, wouldn’t feel fulfilled, would always wonder what if I had just waited for the “right one”, not just settling. It isn’t even a good settlement, everyone involved is loosing something. Why do I not seem to understand it, I ONLY LIVE ONCE, so I need to start treating my life like it….

“There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page or just closing the book.”